Damn I can be toxic sometimes and we all have those days but someone who I though was my friend made me feel so pathetic and worthles and I have no idea what to even do about it.
Ill try to recreate what happened.
Friend 1: Why do you act this way and lose friends you dgaf?
(Keep in mind i used to be his friend)
Him: Yeah its not like im losing that much.
That… hurt… Sorry for putting thi here I just don’t know what to do! 
I jut feel way more depressed than I need to in a game and needed something to cope and put bc I DONT KNOW ANYMORE.
Legit crying tho.